dating in the 2020s as a black lesbian in the digital age post lockdown blah blah blah this one is a bit mean sprited
7/3/2025, 4am
Its 4am and the 7th of march. Im listening to fiona apple and res. I want to talk about dating
feeling: hopeless♬ listening to: valentine by fiona apple
and
they say vision by res ♬
I've always wanted to meet someone at like a train station or something and we hit it off from there. Ive never really liked or wanted to do online dating. But that is the norm now.
Ive tried the apps and it was annoying and awful. I got the same old “ur pretty but weird” comment , mostly from men because at the time I identified as bisexual. A lot of the women interested in me also said I was weird but in a much nicer way. But they seemed like they just wanted to be friends as they spoke to me more.
I have tried avoiding the online thing but even when i'd go to lesbian events a lot of people would just be super standoffish. I went to this one event in june of 2024 that was awful despite the entire purpose of it being we mingle and meet new people?
Dont get me wrong, ive met a lot of great people at events but it was just one of those 'we never really meet again' things (not a bad thing btw I think thats just what comes with adulthood)
The relationship im in/kind of last relationship was in (funnily enough is also my first romantic relationship ever) through me reaching out to my partner on tumblr. Dare I say I regret dating somebody so popular on tumblr.
At the time I was also popular but I still took very long breaks from it because it used to make my blood pressure rise.... it kind of felt like he liked the idea of having a gf so he could make tumblr posts and stay popular.
I feel like too many relationships (romantic) only last a few months, because ppl, esp my age dont want to put in the work to have a healthy relationship. I think a lot of people today just want to be friends with benefits, not relationships. So its hard to date someone and hope it'll go on for some time because the fun ends after 4 months.
I know there is someone out there for me, someone who wont leave me thinking my standards are too high or im asking for too much by wanting to hang out or going above and beyond for someone who doesnt make the effort.
I think i'll just try the dating apps again. Later though. I should probably mention how race plays into this but I can't really articulate myself rn. I think I only mentioned it in the title because I am a black lesbian, ofc.